The Power of Asking.

One of the most misunderstood concepts today is asking.  Most people have real difficulty in asking for what they want, or they do it incorrectly.  Even though some of the most successful people ever have become successful by asking, we are still somehow reluctant to do it.

Why?  We are taught from childhood that we must share and certainly not take too much for ourselves.  We are also taught that asking for too much is selfish.  These ideas assume that there is a shortage of resources in the world.  There is also an underlying suggestion that we are not worthy of something is we must ask rather than have it given to us.

There is Much Abundance

These ideas are totally incorrect.  Firstly, there is no shortage of overall abundance, and if there is in a particular area, technology will find a way to either expand supply or create a new one.  The classic example is rubber in the 19^th century.  As rubber demand increased, the supplies of rubber trees were strained.  There were only so many plants in the world and rubber began to run short.  Then, rubber made from petroleum products was invented, and the rubber crisis was over. 

In the early 20^th century, there was another crisis that every city faced.  Manure!  Specifically, what to do with the tonnes of manure that was being produced by the thousands of horses that were being used for transportation.  Every city was trying to figure out what to do about it until mass produced cars came along and the issue solved itself as there were many less horses and many more cars.

Tires and Cars

These two examples might seem quaint and far away, and many people doubtless are not even aware of them, but at the time, they were major crises that had to be dealt with.  This is where asking becomes so powerful.  When rubber was running short, a man named Charles Goodyear asked if there was an alternative and began to experiment.  He eventually perfected rubber vulcanization which is the process we still use today for rubber.  And yes, he is THAT Goodyear, and his fame lives on in the name of his company that produces rubber tires to this day.

When cities were struggling with manure, many people asked if there was a better way to travel.  The car was invented, and one man asked how more of them could be built cheaply and quickly so that everyone could afford one.  That man was Henry Ford, a pioneer of the assembly line.  And yes, he is THAT Ford.  His company still sells millions of vehicles based on his assembly line designs.

Asking is a Duty

These two men also strongly refute the point that it is selfish to ask for something and that we are unworthy of it.  While it is true that they both became incredibly wealthy from their companies, the good that their inventions did for the world cannot be overstated.  They felt that not only was it not selfish but that they had a duty to create their products for the benefit of all.  The world would certainly be a very different place if we did not have ready access to rubber or cars.

The reality of asking is that if you don’t ask, you will not get much.  People will not know what you want and will not ask you.

The Myth of Rejection

Another point to consider is the myth of rejection.  We worry that if we ask for something and we are told “no”, that we are being rejected.  Firstly, most “no’s”, particularly in business are not personal, they are a decision someone has made.  For example, if you are in sales and a prospective client says they do not want to buy your product or service, it is not a personal attack.  They are just saying no.   Secondly, rejection suggests that you have lost something.  You have lost nothing by asking.  You didn’t have the thing you asked for in the first place, so someone saying no does not take anything away from you.  You are no worse off than you were before you asked.   Rejection is largely a myth if you think of it that way.

The great thing about asking is that getting a “no” means very little, but typically you are much better off if you get a “yes”!

Jack Canfield, is his excellent book “The Success Principles” outlines how to ask for what you want in 5 steps:

1.  Ask as if you expect to get it.  Expect a “yes” and your positive attitude can help people want to say yes to you.
2. Assume you can.  Assume that you can get what you are asking for.
3. Ask Someone Who Can Say Yes.  This is vital.  Make sure the person you are asking can make the decision you need.  If not, ask “Who can do this for me? or Who do I have to speak to?”
4. Be Clear and Specific.  Ask for a specific thing or figure.  “I am willing to pay $150 for these shoes.”
5. Ask Repeatedly.  Keep asking, particularly if things change.  They have gotten a raise, the economy if better, their company has higher profits, etc.

Statistics show that that over 60% of sales occur after asking FIVE times.  Most people stop after asking once.

You have nothing to lose, start asking today.