The Risk of “All or Nothing”
The holidays are a wonderful time of year we spend with our family and friends celebrating what we have done and often planning what we are going to do in the coming year. Between Christmas carols, parties and big dinners, it is a festive time of year that we all look forward to.
However, there is one activity that only a few people look forward to that usually occurs sometime in the week leading up to January 1st.
New Year’s Resolutions!
Why are resolutions so divisive and often downright scary for so many people while others easily create their new goals for the coming year and stay on track until they achieve them?
The reasons are twofold. Firstly, people do not necessarily know how to make a set of goals, but they feel societal pressure to make some changes in their lives, so they create resolutions, but they don’t know how to apply them. Once you know how to make a goal and the process to achieving it, it becomes much easier to implement. The process to make effective goals is covered here.
The second reason for not achieving a goal is that most people do not have a way to get back on track if they fail to follow it. How to make goals is a vital skill, but staying on track is just as important, and if you miss a piece of the process, you need a way to get back to it to move forward. This can be difficult because of the way we feel when we stop working towards it. We are generally much too hard on ourselves if we stumble like eating a food we shouldn’t or missing a workout.
This is the risk of All or Nothing.
We feel that because we missed a workout, our whole plan to get in shape is now ruined and why should we bother at all. We feel that because we ate a cookie that did not necessarily fit into our new diet, that the whole thing won’t work, and we eat many more cookies and abandon the diet. We feel that because we spent too much on a new pair of shoes/clothes/computer that our budget is now ruined, and we will never save any money so why bother.
Success is a Bumpy Road
We need to understand that success is not a straight line, but a bumpy road filled with obstacles and setbacks. As long as we look to the long-term benefits of the resolution and forgive ourselves if we don’t strictly follow the new path, we can get back on track much easier.
If we eat some ice cream, that does not mean we are doomed to be over-weight and unhealthy forever. It just means that we are prone to temptation and not perfect. It’s just ice cream, not a judgement of us. The following day, we can look at our goals list, (you are keeping it where you can see it right?) and eat healthier foods. Some ice cream or other desserts are not going to permanently ruin our plan.
If we spend too much shopping, we can look at our savings goal, see the effect it will have on our long-term investment plan, and think about that next time we want to buy something. As long as we continue to save, even if it is slightly less, we are making progress and that is what matters, not perfect adherence to a plan.
So, keep referring to the resolution or goal every day, and if you slip up, go back to the plan. There is no need to be so hard on yourself that you abandon the whole idea. You can do it!