The Secret to Connecting with People

Be present. 

The number one gift you can give to people when you are with them is your attention.  It shows them that they matter and that you are there for them.  You are not looking at your phone, or talking to someone else, you are talking to the person you are with.  You are not distracted and looking around, you are making eye contact and asking them meaningful questions and actually listening to their answers.  When people see how much you care they will feel a closer connection to you.  One of the most attractive qualities women consistently list in men is meaningful eye contact.  It shows that you are present and that you care. It also costs you nothing but reaps huge rewards.

Bill Clinton and Reality Distortion

President Bill Clinton is famous for this and the phrase “reality distortion field” is strongly associated with him. He is known for being very charming to everyone he meets. Anyone who has met him feels an immediate connection with the former president regardless of personal feelings or politics. Clinton maintains strong eye contact and makes you feel like you are the only person in the room. People have reported that he creates a reality distortion field where it is you and him and no one else, even for just a short time, regardless of the fact that there could be thousands of people in the room. He will also actively include people in a group that he is a part of and engages everyone who is within a few feet of him. He is present.

Time with your family will be much more rewarding if you are present with no devices or distractions.  You will be amazed at how much more fun you will have when you are there for each other and the activity you are doing together.

The idea of being present can also be used to make you more successful in your work.  In other words, when you are working, work.  Be present in the work you are doing, and you will do a much better job than if you are constantly distracted.  Decide that for a focused block of time you will do the work without looking at devices, email or having conversations with other people.  The results you get will surprise and amaze you.  In the beginning, these blocks of time may not be very long, but as you do it more often, you be able to go for longer periods of time and get much more done.

Be present and watch the amazing effect it will have on you and the people around you.